HELLO, PC family!

LORDY I have missed you guys! In case you are wondering where I have been for the last ONE MONTH AND FOUR DAYS, let me tell you.

I went to my pdoc and complained for the second month in a row of extreme tiredness. He noticed my mood was fine, so he ordered some bloodwork and told me he would call me if anything came back funny.

LOTS o' ***** came back funny. He actually told me he was scared for me when he called to tell me about the numbers.

So, a friend took me to the ER. They did more bloodwork. It turned out that of platelets, blood's clotting agent, of which you are supposed to have 50,000 or more, I had 5,000. And then there were white cells, which fight infection. I had a big fat honkin ZERO. None. Nada. Explains all the ear infections, etc -- I couldn't fight them off.

Thus began one month and four days in the hospital. I remember absolutely zero of the first two weeks, but as I have been getting stronger my friends have been filling me in.

I have aplastic anemia. It's where your bone marrow shuts down and stops producing cells. I had fewer than 1% cells in my bone marrow when they did a biopsy. Basically, as I've learned though don't recall, I wasn't expected to live. At one point, and blessedly I don't remember this at all, I actually went into cardiac arrest and had to be resuscitated, breathing tube, whole bit. My sister said at one point, during a particularly potent cocktail of IV drugs they were giving me, I tried to pull out my catheter and all my IV lines (grin). I don't remember that either.

After about 10 days, I was transferred to a hospital affiliated with a medical college, where I could get extremely specialized care. No sooner had I gotten settled in a room than a doctor walked in, told me what was going on with me, and informed me I had a 50-50 chance to live (nice bedside manner, hey?). My sister was here from Minnesota, and after he left, she handed me a notebook and a pen and said "Just in case, start writing down what you want done with your stuff, and what you want done at your funeral." And we sat together and planned my funeral. My sister has kept people updated via email, and a friend told me yesterday that when she got the email saying I had a 50-50 chance, she cried because those odds were so much better than what my sister had been giving people for a couple of weeks.

Quite the ride, hey?!?!?!?

I am HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME HOME now, however, just tonight, still somewhat weak and wobbly on my feet, though I can walk pretty much without support now. My sister (a different one, from Indiana, who is here through tomorrow) dropped me around the side door and handed me my keys before she went to park, and I staggered up two short flights of stairs (REALLY bad on stairs still, they make me dizzy), walked the short distance to my apartment, and gave the front door a hug and a kiss. I am not kidding. Then I opened the door and gave the back of the door a kiss. I am so thrilled to be here you can't believe it, and I appreciate everyone's thoughts -- Doc John printed out and snail mailed some stuff for me.

I'M HOME! I'M HOME! I'M HOME! I'M HOME! I'M HOME! AND I LOVE YOU ALL!

Love, Candy