There are different types of abusers and different reasons why they do it. It is possible that he loves you, but hitting and strangling you are never acceptable and those actions do not show love. If you love him and want to stay with him, depending on his profile and personality type it could be possible to overcome the problem. He has to be willing to change though and needs to go to treatment.

Can you give us an example of what happens when he is abusive? What does he do or say? What is he like? Is he angry and out of control or calm and systematic?

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>