elena i can so relate to your feelings of hurt, anger and frustration. you're correct, you can't change your dad, just you. his alcoholism just magnifies his "character defects". i'd suggest you sharing this at an ACOA meeting. i'm sure they can offer support in how to deal with his lack of being kind or thoughtful to you. hope you're still going there. you need it to pull away. the small things do build up. then they become resentments. then it causes depression. anger tuned inward=depression. try not to allow him "rent space in your head". live your life, carve your own destiny. hugs.