Quote:
Originally Posted by Squiggle328
I obviously do not like to FEEL anything, or so it seems.
I think I DO express my feelings a lot, so I do not understand your question.
I am not an outward emotional person. I appear to be somewhat calm, cool, collected, etc..
but at home and when I am alone, I am VERY emotional.
I have thoughts, but she says I am not allowing myself to FEEL the emotion that goes along with those thoughts. What does that mean???
I cry in our sessions. I tell her that I am angry, depressed, discouraged, feel trapped, lonely, anxious, etc... are those not FEELINGS? I pace the floor, move from chair to couch to the floor, etc...I am showing her that I am FEELING something when in session!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Squiggle328
I am still fighting this anger thing. I went nutty this weekend as I expressed in another thread. Put duct tape over my mouth to keep me from screaming!! 
I also went into the garage, found a hammer and some nails, and started pounding them into a wooden bench. When I came back in the house, I asked my family, "Did you hear anything?"
My daughter responded, "Yes, you were out there banging stuff in the garage again." She said it so matter of factly. Like it was just a normal thing for her mother to do!  Here lately, it is normal for me to do crazy things. Anything to get this anger out!!!
Why am I fighting it so bad? I wish I knew. I still want to throw that tantrum in my therapist's office. |
Squiggle, maybe you are still fighting having the feelings and this is what your T is talking about?
If I describe something that made me upset I can talk about it with emotion or without emotion. If I talk about it with emotion my voice might crack, I might get teary or my body might move about a lot. If I am distancing myself from my feelings I will talk about this upsetting incident as if I am explaining how I'm going to clean the floor.
When you talked about crying in her office and pacing about, is this new or something that you don't do very often?
And maybe your T is talking about the all or nothing approach? You appear cool and collected and then you go in the garage and start pounding?