Hi Elana!

I have the same issue with my mom, and dad in different ways. My mom says "why did you do this, you shouldn't have done it. now its all messed up". while my dad will say "you shouldn't have done this, now its a blunder".

So, yes it hurts no matter how strong you are.

But here's how I think about this:

Its DONE. Its in the PAST. I am not GOD. I cannot go back into the past and UNDO. So why worry about it?

Rather, I'd like to divert my energies to the present and the future and think of:

how can i fix this situation?
what can i do to make it better? is there space to make it better or is it finished completely?

if its finished completely and there's nothing I can do, what did i learn from it?

After answering these questions, you'll find out that you either have an option to make things better, fix them, or nothing at all. If its to make better, then pick that, if theres nothing you can do, then move on and forget about having done things differently, or regretting the past or feeling guilty about it.

The best part is, even if it can't be fixed, you probably got a lesson out of it, which is extremely valuable because that's how we learn and grow as people. I personally feel, life's all about learning and growing.

Mistakes are good. Look at them positively. They teach you something. They also prepare you for success. The more you make, the better you get, and the sooner you reach success.

Responding to this makes me feel I should have totally been a motivational speaker.

On a serious note, this is hard at first, but with practice, shall bring good benefits as it has for me. I hope it does for you too.

And yes it hurts when your parents/family say things like that. I'm still learning to deal with that.

hugs!