thankyou so much for your input wolfsong.

I also have pretty bad PMS/PMDD. like i get very depressed around those days and very irritated and suicidal thoughts but I've kind of caught the pattern and when I'm going through it, I know that its temporary... my hormones on ecstacy.. but not to the point of hospitilization. I'm sorry you have to go through that.

And thanks for clarifying the BPD thing. I know its a quiet tough to deal with and I think it wasn't the fact that I might have BPD as much as my jerkface ex might be "RIGHT" thing. He always is "RIGHT" in his mind. If he's not, he'll force it on you and put a stamp of "righteousness" on it.

it bugged me coming from my bf, because he's blamed me for EVERYTHING that went wrong inthe relationship and when someone just spit out i have bpd, that was his "closure". When i saw the therapist, he was just like "oh so its just depression? did they say anything else? whats wrong with them? do they ask you questions? do you answer honestly? why are they not diagnosing you???".

Basically he just wanted to shove it down my throat and make ME the culprit for the relationship going wrong, so he wouldn't feel inferior for making mistakes.

But anyway, thanks.