I am 25 years old. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 21. I have a hard time disciplining myself to do the things I want to do. I compulsively take long walks, listen to music, and stare. I can't focus. I would like to read, learn, and gain some skills, but my mind does not want to exert itself, and wants to be comfortable and at ease. I am weak-minded, however, I have dreams of being productive and efficient. I would like to love myself healthily again, but I constantly engage in self-destructive behavior that I don't want to do in the first place. I would like to wake up early, enjoy a short walk, and read more to obtain information for knowledge. I would like to be independent, but I can't do so because I am compulsive. I am also neurotic. I tend to daydream about myself. I waste a lot of valuable time and creative energy doing destruction to myself. How do I change to be more mature, realistic, self-controlled, and ultimately more satisfied with myself and life?