BB, i do have a lot on my plate now and i only want her to respect that and be supportive. she is an ex-heroin addict and i see some "dry drunk" behavior at times. she doesn't attend meetings or do much in aftercare. plus, i think she's bi-polar. in fact, i think my mother was also. and one sister.

i just don't have the energy to try to do too much right now. it is a day to day struggle to work and eat and feed the animals and just be. when someone is nice to me at work, i'm euphoric. i just don't have much positive re-enforcement going on and i need it. a math professor offered to tutor me in geometry today and i burst out crying. no one has offered me any help in my struggle to get into nursing school. that was so kind of him. so, at least when i enroll in health math, i'll have some help on the geometry.

it's just so damned hard to be bipolarbearian and try to live in a world today. it's one and a half step forward and two back. i really pray that the ranch refuge house will be appropriate for me to live in and i can get out of town. that would help my soul a lot. unmless those camels spit on the top of my head!