Quote:
Originally Posted by Suratji
Just 3 months in therapy and I'm already feeling dependent on T. I don't like that feeling. I don't understand it. I've already told her that she's the only person I've ever felt needy towards. And I blamed her for that and told her it's her fault!!!
I'll be 2 weeks without a session at end of this month and it scares me. I don't have serious problems like those with PTSD or anxiety disorders or anything that would require constant monitoring so I don't understand this feeling of dependency.
I will talk to T next session to ask her to explain it to me and ask her if it will end eventually.
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It's OK and natural to feel some dependency on T after a while...
It's someone who is giving so much attention to you and so much caring for you in that time you spend with them. There's a lot emotionally invested in therapy, in the therapist. So attachment/dependency happen. A secure attachment helps you to do the work that you need to do within the therapeutic framework; without it, how could you go so deep as you need to with T or really learn so much about your way of relating in other relationships through the relationship with T? You need this secure base.
And for you personally, I think you need to learn it's OK to need someone, it's OK to be dependent, in a healthy, helpful way!
I began to feel dependent on my T about 3months in too. I remember talking to her about how I was beginning to feel attached and it was scary. She said to me, you won't always need me, you know! The time will come when you feel less dependent....
And maybe T will also know how to nudge you out of the nest so to speak, when she sees it is time for you to fly.....or at least to test your wings, little by little. Maybe my T is pushing
me out of the nest a bit?! However, I know I am not ready.....but I think we will know when we are.....