Yes it is the "if" that is bothering me.

And yes she was in great pain inside for her to do this. That's why "suicide" is not a game and we don't go playing around with that word.

It is also why that I am always glad to see someone who have said, in here, that they have felt suicidal to come back to let us know that they are ok or at least a bit better. It is a strong feeling and it is not a game.

Thank you for being here for me. I so appreciate it.