Thank you all so much for your replies. I know I get this way when I get depressed, but at the time it is sooooo hard to not believe it. I went off my meds because of money issues, and I know that is making it worse. I get so emotionally liable and feel so depressed. But I can't seem to stop it even knowing what causes it.
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Originally Posted by treehouse
Do you think it's self-protective? I think I protect myself with the "I don't deserve love" thoughts. That way, if I'm not loved, it's okay. It hurts less. I told T once that I think that I keep myself in a low level of pain all the time to avoid BIG pain that surprises me out of nowhere.
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I think this is part of it. I don't want to hurt again if I have to stop seeing her. Right now everything seems so unsure.