This all came about because (in therapy) we are going back to the time when I was sexually abused at the age of 10 years old. It happened twice, but at the time, I don't remember making a huge ordeal about it. I did tell my parents and they handled it. I don't remember what all went on after that. Back in those days, you didn't talk about this kind of thing openly.

Now that I am sharing this with my therapist, there are a couple of details that I shared with her, that I don't really remember for sure if it happened or not.

This part of the abuse would be really hard for a 10 year old to take in. Am I remembering it now as an adult, because the 10 year old could not handle it? Or am I making this part up? It feels like I am having flashbacks, but are they real?

When I think about it, I get very emotional and start crying. Yet I still feel like, "What are you crying about?" The tears are coming, but I question WHY they are there. I do not feel the connection between the tears and what I am thinking about the abuse. It feels like they are separated, yet somehow go together?

It makes me feel like there is more to my story than I am allowing myself to remember. But what does that matter now? How is that going to help me in therapy? How is revisting this area of my life going to help me now?