When I look back on all of my struggles, I feel an immense sense of gratitude and compassion for little ellie. Although she is me, she suffered what I could not, and stayed alive, and for the most part sane. She carried a tremendous load on her little shoulders and I honor her by telling her story and, as such, I honor myself.

What helped me immensely to wrangle those awful images in my mind was to (in my mind's eye) go back to the little me and offer that love and compassion.

Almost as though "I couldn't do anything then, but I can now" I have that power now.