Hello, struggling67. Have you talked to your ex about your concerns? Is he willing to get professional help? Does he understand he is hurting you?

If not, it would seem your options are limited. If you stay, he will might well think he does not have to change (Too, you might get professional help for yourself. Even so, you will be accepting behavior you deem inappropriate). If you leave with the understanding you will not be coming back unless he actually receives professional help, the relationship might end, but you no longer will be subjected to emotional abuse.

Good luck.