"Fix the problem, not the blame". We always have to take responsibility for our own actions, they are always ours. But, understanding the thoughts, feelings, and choices we have made in the past help to inform us so that we might make better choices in the future.

I was sexually repressed and abused as a child and had a lot of difficulty with my sexually as a young adult; I did not meet my husband until I was 34 years old. I directly credit my therapy of the time for allowing me to take more chances and be more "there" in my dating/relationship with my husband over the next couple years and we've now been married for almost 22. Had I not been in therapy, not learned what I learned from it, I seriously doubt I could have made the relationship work.