Quote:
Originally Posted by googley
I don't feel like I deserve to have my T like me. I feel like she should hate me. I know she will tell me that is wrong. (not in those words). But I really feel like it. I feel like she would be better off helping someone else. That I should just climb back under the rock I came out from (if I can find it). I wish she would just hate me. It would be so much easier to deal with. To not have to care what she thinks.
I'm sorry. I know I'm totally screwed up right now. I can't even explain how it feels. 
I wish I could just disappear. |
(((Googley)))
I'm so sorry to hear things are so hard right now.
This sounds like a very specific feeling, the feeling of "not deserving to have your T like you" or "wanting your T to hate you." This really sounds like a strong trigger to me. I can relate because I have had strong triggers too. Although mine are more along the lines of, "I can only be myself when I am completely alone" and "the world is better off if I make myself as scarce as possible." Do you think it would be helpful to take your specific post to your T?
And lastly,
YES, you
do deserve to recieve help and yes, you do deserve to feel better and you
deserve to feel loved and cared for. We care for you here on pc. Thinking of you and hope you feel a bit better soon.
Elana