hi. i am in a situation where the shoe is on the other foot! i am the oldest of 4 boys; my youngest brother is almost 10 years younger. my father died when he was 5 years old and he has no memory of him. the only parent he knows is my mother, who treated me terribly (emotional child abuse and neglect). i avoid discussing her with my youngest brother at all costs. his experience was very different. while he did not have a dad, he had 3 older brothers also helping him as well as some good friends. over the years, i have promoted family peace at my own personal expense. my youngest brother is very well adjusted and happily married. will i ever share the family dirt with him? frankly, i don't think it's worth the risk even though he is now a grown adult. it's a choice on my part. i prefer that the past stay where it is - in the past and done and over with. please bear in mind that you have the option of changing the subject when it comes up. you are entitled to your memories as they are.