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(JD) · Mar 20, 2011, 06:13 PM

Ok sounds good to me. Yes, remember that this is NOT personal... you are an employer and she is an employee. Act as though she hasn't been instructed with your special needs and desires for any employee.

Be matter of fact, careful of your tone when you speak, maybe write out the sentences ahead of time and read them as you go down your list.

You can use phrases such as: "I'd really like it if you could ..." if you wish to give an explanation ("that would make my ... easier ") you can, but it's not necessary.

Don't speak down to her, she may be a real keeper in the rough

Maybe she hasn't really received any special information from the agency, you know?

You could begin with a list of weekly, and then tell her you'll be adding some items that need to be done as well, less often, and wait until next week to discuss those? That way it won't be too overwhelming...unless there is one particular item you really do need to discuss now.

Keep your perspective. This is not anything against her as a person, but a way to help her improve her work for you.

I think you will find that you will be strong-minded beforehand and then as you try to discuss things, you'll feel more human and maybe even less worthy of what you are asking for... that's when it's important to remember this is just about what you need done for you. You can even tell her you wished you didn't need help, but you do, and you hope she can help you help yourself to as normal a life as possible... or something to that effect.

You'll do fine... and you're learning how to advocate for yourself, so you can improve over time. This won't be your last PCA, I'll bet, and by the time you'll be living on your own and really reliant upon a PCA, you'll have it down pat as to how to be an employer