Dear Rhapsody,
I started having anxiety about my appearance when I was very young. I was a chubby child and teenager and was ashamed of the way I looked because my mother put me on slim fast diets and was ashamed of the way I looked and was critical of me. I don't think I was really fat, but I don't know for sure so whenever I look in the mirror now that's what I see and I feel ashamed of what I look like even though I really know that I look like most people do. I also got real uncomfortable around other people when I was a teenager because in school some of the people I thought were my friends drew a picture of me on a bulletin board and I was supposed to be a pig eating candy. I really hate to be looked at now because of what I think they are thinking. I know it’s crazy and I try to force myself to go out anyway. I spent so many years of my life trying to diet and be thin and I did get that way, but I would still look in the mirror and something about how I see myself would still not look right and I changed my clothes a bunch of times and change my hair and keep working on how I look for hours. It’s a nightmare and I am in therapy and I’m bi-polar with (personality disorder clusters). I think I need to order that book too.
Attekus