i thank you deeply for using the word "gatekeeper" instead of "alter". this is why i did not know i had d.i.d. i KNEW there were "parts" separate from the one (and as i understand this, the "one" is called the "core"?), but i thought they had to have a proper "name" such as Mary or Alice or Sue. this brain is so segmented that there is no way we can form any rhyme or reason to the co-existence of them all.
they are different entities that co-exist with the "mother" who watches over all, unless "mother" goes away and the "littles" (more like immature little entities--one says "lily" but how do we know?) are left to cry and be afraid and not know what to do.
there is one tho that does have a name, "Bonnie" although when that first was made known, there was another name below that one and i suspect it was something like "gatekeeper". she is almost asexual, very firm and matter of fact and totally fearless, and is just "there" when the one cannot be present, or even when the one is, but she's there at the times when drastic measures need to be put in place to protect the body, or to let it rest.
the gatekeeper was set up to deal with the world, to allow the one to work, to function, to deal with others in the world. the gatekeeper does not pay the bills, but allows the one to be protected enough to do this, for example. the gatekeeper is like a wall, built out of extreme necessity to put up boundaries when the old ones lay in tattered ruins.
there are also sentinels, who stand watch and report to the gatekeeper, ever hypervigilant for obvious reasons. there are also rooms with "windows" to view the world through many eyes, sometimes they are the one's eyes foremost.
everything has to be filtered by the gatekeeper, but "mother" has a lot of free reign to allow certain "safe" places to be visited, people that are safe to talk to, etc.
last week, due to devastatingly negative intervention from family, the gatekeeper was overrun by unknown soldiers hidden inside, who took to arms and blasted down the wall to get at those who would try to enter and destroy all of us. it was a blood bath. the one was almost lost.
now "everyone", the gatekeeper, the sentinels, the mother, the one as she can, the others as they can, are painstakingly helping rebuild the wall. the soldiers have thankfully retreated to the darkness within, but now the one knows they are there and the weak ones, we, are all very afraid. but "mother" is trying to sooth with lullaby's, words of assurance, and rocking us all in loving arms once again.
i have to ask a big favor. please please don't make me call things alters, or the system, or the core, it sounds so cold. gatekeeper sounds "safe", "mother" sounds protective and loving, and saying the "one" gives us hope that one day we will all be just that...one.
i don't know what else to say. i can't call these entities alters because "they" are, to the one's thinking, all a part of the one, formed to protect the one, and live within the one. this is just the way it is. it is not "by the book", but what is in life?





