thanks karebear. Im glad someone is growing from this because all i know right now is I feel like one big jumbled up mess of craziness. I finally opened up to my mom about the dark dark place I have been in all weekend. She said she prays daily for my wholeness and of course I had to smash it down with Im losing hope thats even possible. God how terrible am I? Cant even accept my moms support. Anyway she also encouraged me to call T either tonight or first thing when I get off work in the morning...and see about getting in soon than this thursday. Ugh...needy Needy NEedy NEEdy NEEDy NEEDY...I HATE IT!!! Ok ok enough.