(((((Rainbow))))) Thank you for reminding me that this is my pattern. You are right. This time it feels different though. Before, I didn't want to see him, but I still did on the inside - as in I hoped he could help me "fix" whatever was broken.

This time, it is very different. I really don't want to go for any reason. There is no secret hope left that thinks he can say just the right thing to make this better for me. Oh well. Just have to see how it goes.