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LMo said:
even if she called the hospital and they told her that the DIL is wrong, what would happen then? It's not like she could then go to the DIL and say "you're wrong. Now let me see the baby".

Sounds to me like the DIL is setting a boundary rather than manipulating.

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Yeah good point LMO ...soon my pm will be off but yeah...and it may also be individual to this child and this mom thus only those who know would know

anyhow sorry for anyones pain