I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.

There was definitely a time in my therapy when most of the defenses were stripped, but I had very little if any mechanisms to cope with what all was coming up.

I felt like I was "inside out" - everything hurt and I couldn't close the door to the feelings anymore.

I promise this will pass and you will develop healthier coping mechansims, but try to tell your therapist how you feel.

About the midnites. Have you considered Rozerem? It's a FDA approved medication with a very very similar mechanism of action of midnites. It mimics the action of melatonin, but perhaps is more consistent than an over the counter substance. I mean exactly what is European Melatonin? Do people in Europe have different melatonin that Americans?

The other ingredients you can get from teas. I drink some love Chamomile prior to bed each night.

Again, this phase will pass, and you will be able to find comfort and hope outside of the therapist's office. This is a transition, and a good one I think.

Peace to you.