You are important, happycheeks.
Close your eyes and imagine that someone else was saying those words to you about themselves, someone you cared about. What kind of advice would you give them? I hope you will reach out and ask for help. You are important and you deserve to feel strong and and cared for. But sometimes we've got to begin by offering that care to ourselves. You deserve a life in which you feel safe. I hope you will reach out. Is there a clinic or counseling service that you know of where you might seek a bit of help? You deserve it, you deserve to be helped.
Sending supportive thoughts your way.