SAWE, I feel like I could have written your post! This is exactly where I'm at right now, and I have been seeing this T for almost 10 years! A lot of stuff has happened in this decade. But I got to a point around 4-5 months ago where I felt that I needed to take this to another level. I'm not being hard on myself here. But it's a fact—there is so much stuff that I've been thinking and feeling since I was very young and I've never told anyone, not even her. I have arrived at the conclusion that my hiding ends now. So, I've been doing it all in writing, I mail it to her, and then we talk about it the next time.

The only advice I can give you is to do this slowly and take care of yourself. You may end up not even feeling any better after getting this stuff out, and that's OK. Sharing the deepest places of your soul is not going to be some quick fix for your mood. A lot of emotions are going to spew out like a volcano, they have with me anyway. Good luck!