Wow......your story sounds quite a bit like mine. I've been depressed on and off for years and on antidepressents. There was always a logical reason for my depressions......caretaking my mom with Altzheimers.......living on the West Coast when all my family was here, etc. Not until really late in life did I have my first bout of mania.......months long and ending me up in the psych unit. Crashed into depression, back into the psych unit, and this time being given the diagnosis of BP1 instead of BP2 as was first thought. Back out of the hospital even more depressed and made a serious attempt........well, you know. That landed me back in two more hospitals this time, one of them to start recovering from my injuries. Gosh........these memories are making me forget what your question was......(oh, I remember!) What you're dealing with does sound a lot like BP, either 1 or 2. At leastcompared to my symptoms.....and from everything I've read. My case is out of the ordinary, in that it's very severe, with many compicating side effects and issues. You could expect to do really well if this, in fact, does turn out to be your diagnosis. There are so many different degrees of Bp, (and of any mental illness, I imagine.) You'll get the diagnosis, therapy and meds if you need them. Sending you all my best, and hoping to read a follow-up......good luck.........grey