(((Trippin)))
Your situation is way more painful than anything I can relate to. All I can say is I feel for you and pray for you.
I sometimes feel like hiding from all my friends too (I make it sound like I have loads of friends)
I actually tried your trick of overdosing today - only I took 11 coffees in 1 go - it did absolutely nothing to me. Zip. I hope you don't try anything more serious.
Hold on tight.
TS