Quote:
Originally Posted by sunrise
|
You know, *this* is really one of the biggest changes in my life since starting therapy. I used to really think I HAD to do everything myself, that if I asked for help no one would love me, people would think I was weak. I thought I ALWAYS had to be the "helper"
That honestly hasn't even occurred to me with this injury. Well, it did at first, because when I hurt it I was in the middle of a half-marathon and I forced myself to go somewhere else in my head and keep running even though the pain was excruciating. I should have stopped and asked for help. It didn't even occur to me
BUT. I haven't hesitated about letting H and my boys and my friends help me. When T offered another appt time, i just said "yay, thank you, see you tomorrow". When my mom was (shockingly) sober and offered to take one of my boys to his martial arts class, I said "okay". Two of my sons cleaned the house for me yesterday, and I just felt grateful. My friends drove me to my 12 Step meeting last night, and when they offered, I didn't hesitate. I just said "okay" and "thanks". I don't feel like I "owe" anyone anything because I'm accepting help. I know that sometimes I am the helper and sometimes people help me, and we all have needs, and it's okay.
Some things in life are just so much better now than they ever were before therapy....like this. Learning to have needs and be okay with having needs was one of the hardest and scariest lessons in my therapy, and there are times now when it feels so natural that I forget where I came from.
So. I guess that's the bright side of being hurt...it's a good reminder that I'm human, and people can love me and it's okay.


