When is your therapist back? This would be a good topic to discuss.

Have you ever read about Adult Children of Alcoholics or Borderline Personality Disorder? I'm not saying those labels apply to you, but literature on those subjects deals a lot with extreme emotions and feeling numb.

I wonder if happy moods would happen if you didn't feel so numb? I'm sorry you have to fake the emotions that you feel like others expect. It must be annoying to have to watch out for that all the time. Wishing you well!