Wow, what a mess! I don't have a lot of advice, but it seems like you've gotten some good pointers on how to proceed.

Something jumped out at me about your new therapist -- you're friends with her husband? I know it happens, but therapists aren't supposed to have any connection with you socially. I'm surprised she took your case in this situation -- just seems a bit unprofessional. You need to start afresh with no new unthetical tendrils and incestuous connections between these separate areas of your life.

I'm not being all high-horse about this, honestly! It's just that I made this mistake myself, when one of my co-workers, Clive, told me his wife (I'll call her Anita) was a therapist. I had met her at a social function, and she seemed great. At that time my husband was looking for a therapist, and I figured the incestuous-work-therapy thing was diluted enough for him to start seeing her. (It wouldn't have been as cool if I had been her client.)

Anita turned out to be kind of strange -- she'd blurt out weird sex stuff out of the blue, and it kind of freaked out my husband. She seemed sort of obsessed with the subject.

My hubby didn't go into it, and I didn't feel I should grill him about it. It was his therapy, after all. But I began to wonder how much my husband might be telling her about us and our sex life. It was his perogative, of course, and these things are a huge part of why people go into therapy.

But I didn't want to ask about it, and suddenly (since I knew Anita as an acquaintance), it made me feel strange. My hubby had described her as sort of out-there, a kind of loose cannon. If Anita didn't have such hot professional boundaries, how much might she be telling her husband Clive about me, a guy I was working with on a daily basis?

Also, it wasn't fair to Clive! My husband told me that she'd said to him during a session, "Sometimes you just need a good f**k!" We both laughed about that, and suddenly I couldn't help picturing what Anita and Clive might be getting up to at home. It made it uncomfortable to see him at work. I felt I was on the verge of knowing WAY more about the poor guy than he even had a clue about!

Anyway, what a tough situation for you, and I hope your new therapy works out -- with this therapist or another. Way good that you got out of that unethical place.