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Originally Posted by Suratji
Peaches, that is so so sad. I have no idea what I'd do in similar circumstances. My T will be gone for a week next week and it will be so hard for me that I'm going to leave town also just so that I will have a lot of distraction by traveling and mixing with people.
But you are missing a lot more sessions PLUS you're feeling a distance growing between you and T. How painful! I think I would want to die if that happened with me and T. And I know exactly how you feel about not wanting to beg for attention.
I have no suggestions because I can't imagine trying to cope with such a situation. I'm sure there are others here on PC who will be able to share similar stories and give you some good advice.
My thoughts are with you.
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Hi Suratji,
Thanks for understanding. The problem is that I'm asking her for reassurance about our connection, and her help to adjust to less support, so it doesn't feel like i am losing her. But the more i tell her how i feel, the more she tells me to use my coping skills (i.e., help myself).
The problem isn't that i can't get through the week without seeing her her. Obviously, i manage to do it. But it's hard for me, and i need her to know that it is hard, and why it is hard. Seeing her less feels like less support, which feels like less of a connection or relationship with her. It's not rocket science.
Just telling me to use my skills doesn't help me feel more connected with her. It feels like she's telling me to suck it up and cope alone.
She knows about my problems with attachment and loss. She knows my dire fears about letting myself get attached with her, and of then having to lose her. She's a smart lady. She has to know that starting to miss alot of sessions would be hard for me. She has to know that adjusting to less support would feel like loss, and i might have a really hard time with it and need help to adjust. But she's replying with intellectual instructions for my head, rather than connection for my heart.