Thanks for the reply attekus,

Sorry to hear that your letter got deleted... I always write my reply on my ISP email and check it that way - then I post it on the forum, I have never lost a post since then.

Yes, I totally agree that it is what is on the inside that counts and trust ME my dear husband feels the same way and that is why he still LOVES me (no matter what) - I guess it is just me that cannot get past the wound that lies with in my soul and all the junk that comes with it. I just wish people would think before they wound in the first place - for some wounds never heal, or at least not completely.

And believe be me I do understand the addiction we call PORN and the effects that comes with it - to the user and to the spouse.
For my husband it all started back in his teen years when he found his dads dirty magazines during a time of emotional need.... they fulfilled something in him that nothing else could touch at that moment in life. I guess one can say that he turns to them when he needs to feel emotionally ok or like a man - without fear of rejection that comes with a real person.

I just wish I did not have to share my husband and my marriage with all those images - but at least he does not actually cheat on me physically with another, just sexually through his eyes & mind (well, 2 months without and he is still trying - and I am dying). It seems as though when he stopped his actions and I did not have to work so hard at being safe from his eyes that I was left to deal with me and WOW what an issue to deal with... life or death at times.
I fear young sexy females so for my deepest pain is that I might be replaced (childhood events) and these female images are the closest thing that my husband has let into my space - in to his sexual mind.

* * * * * * *

I guess that is why I always do my best to treat people with love and respect at all times - for one never knows how our selfish actions might effect another.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

P.S.
May I ask? - to you and to any one else who wishes to answers... am I over reacting to his looking at young sexy females? (and) Should I just get over it? - if I can...