Ha ha, if only there were a solution as to what to do about transference! Bottle that one, kid, you'll be a millionaire!

I do think therapists have an awesome responsibility around this, and I'm not sure most are even aware of it. My own T thought it was "fun" to explore the ramifications of my feelings for him. So one of us enjoyed it.

It's tough - in real life, your feelings of insane attraction to someone else, the nutty overvaluation of that person in every respect, will dissipate over time. You finally see the person doing something stupid. They can't spell, they turn out to be racists dorks, they scream when there's a bee in the room, they recycle coffee grounds or cut off their callouses with a kitchen knife -- whatever! The halo clatters to the ground. In therapy, you never see your T in action. The T seems perfect, and you need them to be. The overvaluation takes longer to wear off.

Anyway, how to break the news? I had some tricks up my sleeve when I first brought up the subject. I knew my T enjoyed dream work, so I presented my fantasies more as waking dreams to him. We could then explore the possible symbolic meanings.

I tried not to use the word sexual in my descriptions of my own feelings (though that's what they were). I like the word erotic, so I used that -- it's less aggressive-sounding and potentially threatening, softer.

I told my T I was embarrassed. I said I needed his help if he wanted to continue to explore the subject of my feelings for him.

I also asked my T to bring it up next session, even if I didn't. My T always wanted me to guide the sessions, but I practically begged him to steer the sessions when we were talking about the transference thing. I really, really needed that.

That's all I can think of for now! Good luck tomorrow Masimo and Lavalamp!