I am so sorry this is happening to you...all I can really say without getting too triggered is that I can absolutely relate. Divorce has been suggested to me...it is not on my list of available options right now. I feel like a hypocrite for saying this, but it is abuse and you are not a prude. Leaving a relationship is very difficult, especially when there are children involved. Only you can decide if that is what you need to do. I often find myself sacrificing my boundaries for the greater good. I know that is not healthy, but it's what I need to do right now in my circumstances, maybe in the future that will change. Good Luck to you!