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imho if your mother cannot respect your feelings re the party i'd throw down the gauntlet by telling her you do not want her bf there. i'd tell her if that is the plan that you don't want her there either. this is your special day and your dad's. this ultimately is dad's and your choice. so if those are her terms for coming then tell her she cannot come unless she's alone. she is not taking in consideration your feelings. shame on her!
btw, you owe her no other explanation re your decision.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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