Rhapsody, I can't express enough gratitude on behalf of spouses/significant others that you are taking your husband into account. That is so cool of you, especially considering how much stress you must be feeling of your own.

2 things:
- a book for him called "Depression Fallout", and another called "How You Can Survive When They're Depressed", both by Anne Sheffield
- encourage him to get his own T to work through the stress. He can't help you unless he himself is calm. A good T can help him work through his own response to your breakdown, and help him find the right resources to help both of you.

Good luck, Rhapsody!