That is a trait of BPD - the I love you, I hate you.

I often feel like a terribly crazy person and I hate it. I think DBT maybe a good thing for you. I would like to do it but don't have the insurance. It seems that you are also seeing in absolutes (which is also a trait). Seeing the gray area is hard and DBT should be able to help with that.

Sorry this isn't very helpful. But know you are not alone.