Hi everyone -
I'm a 39 year old man who was just diagnosed with BPD and bipolar disorder (oh yeah...and generalized anxiety disorder and dysthymia...let's not forget about them). I'm still in a state of shock since a month ago I thought I was diagnosed with depression. I have so many questions, and decided to sign of on this community board to seek support and share my experiences. I guess my main issue right now is acceptance. I'd like to share parts of my story , and I would love feedback about how this fits into BPD.
Every since I was young I felt different, somehow less than other people. I always thought other people were smarter, more attractive, more fortunate. As a kid I would hit myself, I really hated myself. Of course we had family deaths and my dad moved out, etc. All my life I have been seeking comfort from relationships, but it seems each partner was angry, abusive, depressed. I would blame them, withdraw, and turn all my anger inward. I often had fleeting thoughts of suicide, but only had two attempts. I also frequently doubt the decisions I make, who I want to be, and have been prone to do some really impulsive things (drinking while driving, etc.)
Does this story sound familiar to anyone?