Don't "catastrophize" your situation. (That's when you what if yourself to death).... I wouldn't mention having to take care of your children as an excuse to stay on SSI and not work, as there are millions of moms that are in that situation but have to work.

Not being able to handle the full time work load, and stay healthy -not being able to take care of yourself without becoming overwhelmed, well that's good enough imo.

Everyone is afraid to go off assistance once they are on it. Try and look at the good side of this, you get to see just how much of normalcy you can handle. If a little bit of work helps you feel better about yourself, gets you to socialize etc., then it's beneficial. If it's really too much, you'll know soon enough.

I hope you do well, and can gradually work up to a good work day that suits you and your health. Be well.