bebop, thank you for your support. I go see my T tomorrow afternoon...still havnt done that homework assignment, ugh! I cant even bring myself to do it...write down what I see in that mirror. I mean I know what I see, y do I gotta write it down? Maybe my feelings today are in anticipation of seeing T tomorrow. I like her, my T, but im hating myself at the moment. & miss my children terribly! Food...ive eatten a little, forced myself to do so...y bother! Bebop...u & missbell are on the other side of this eatting thing, I used to be there....now im on the 'low' end,I feel no different about myself, food still beats me up mentally & physically...i still see what I see in the mirror & I hate it, desparate to be at peace...this dont seem it will release me...which brings to mind a song/ video..."wild horses" by natasha bedingfield...look it up on youtube...its good stuff