My grandson has been having his ups and downs while in the hospital. He's not really found a consistent level of calm (and maybe that may never really happen).

I was able to visit with him today for about an hour and a half. He was excited to see me and it was dinner time so he had his meal while visiting. His 12th birthday is tomorrow and I won't be able to see him so I brought a funny card and a double sized KitKat bar for him. He was really happy with that!

I'm not quite sure how we got on the subject, but we talked about his losses in his short life. He lost his dad a little over 2 years ago and then an uncle to suicide 7 months after his dad's accident. He was so very close to his uncle (more so than his dad I think). The family decided at that time that we would not tell my grandson how his uncle died. We knew he was having difficulties with his father's death from an accident, how could we tell him his uncle took his own life? Well, tonight he asked me straight forward if his uncle died from suicide. I had to be honest with him and told him yes. I don't think it's appropriate at this time to tell him how he took his life, he doesn't need to visualize that in his mind (which I know he would!).

I explained to him that the family knew how hard it had been for him when his dad died and we were trying to protect him from the difficulties of his uncles death. We weren't lying to him in order to hide things from him, we withheld the information in order to help him. Unfortunately for us, we again underestimated his intellect because he said he knew all along that's what had happened. I explained that our intent was good and it may or may not have been the right thing to do. Either way, it was done with good intentions and to help him, not hurt him.

He took all the information in. I told him that if he was feeling really sad or angry that he must talk with staff about it and not get riled up. I also told him it might be a good thing to talk with the doctor about it tomorrow as well. I have believed since these 2 men died that my grandson was not grieving in a healthy way and needed specific grief counseling. Damned community mental health facility didn't see it that way and did nothing for him. I'm so angry with them right now, it's a good thing it's not business hours!

Anyhow....it will be interesting to see how he deals with this information over the next few days, now that his ideas have been confirmed. I called his mother and his aunt to let them know that he knows the truth about his uncle now. I just hope that while he's hospitalized, they can start a good discussion with him about this.....he really needs to get it out!

*sigh* ............. and on we go................................................