After a major episode it does take time for one to recover, so try to go easy on yourself. You wouldn't expect someone that had just gone through Cancer treatment to suck it up and get on with life. Has your therapist suggested any coping methods to deal with the guilty feelings?

I find when I'm in a depressive episode if I don't force myself to exercise go to the stables, eat properly etc. the depression becomes worse. I know it's hard and it's an awful feeling to do something that normally brings you joy, and feel nothing or feel overwhelming sadness.

I hope you start feeling like yourself soon.