thanks for the suggestions, pat & nothemama. I'm sure I can scare up something around here. Pat, I hear you...Asking for help is pathologicaly hard for me. I want to move on, I keep making plans and I just can't seem to get them going or keep them going. I'm really so discouraged...I don't know if I can do all this. my mind clouds up, I make terrible careless errors constantly, even when I am working (which is why I'm not)...I don't have anyone to help me or hug me or tell me it's OK...I'm just so tired.