Welcome to Psych Central, Leah!

I agree with all the great suggestions from the previous posters.

I can identify with you in that my depression began exhibiting itself right after I married my husband. Don't think that was a correlation, just that I was in my early 20's before I had ANY symptoms. For the next 10 years, I was much as you described, I was really hard on my husband, and, in my case, would get so (unknowingly ill) that I would throw things around, etc. I just thought I had a bad temper, but in the back of mind I thought...this isn't normal.

My former husband and I eventually did divorce (not over this issue at all) so began going to a therapist to deal with the divorce. After a month or so of weekly visits, my therapist said, I've been watching you and I think you may have a depressive disorder and referred me to a psychiatrist. I was initially diagnosed with Major Depression - Recurrent and then, because the anti-depressant wasn't working after 6 weeks, my psych added Depakote, saying it was for mood swings. He never told me I was actually Bi-polar!!!

Please see either a psych or a therapist if at all possible.