I haven't talked to T about this yet, we're working on the shame from my past. I still self-harm there, but nothing severe. The shame from the past is the root of this self-hatred I think so maybe it's the right way to go to address it.
I don't really feel like a human...I feel like an object with H.

There are too many parallels between my father and my husband...too much to say without going off the deep end. Thank you for your concern - I am okay. I'm embarrassed about posting this...it's true, but I guess I'm not ready to deal with it yet....