Things have gotten a little better. At least I don't feel like jumping in front of a train anymore. Now I'm in the "clingy" stage. I just want to hold on to someone that I know cares about me and loves me. I want to be safe in their arms and just breathe. I know that sounds childish, but I can't help it. It's how I feel. But I don't have that opportunity. I don't have someone I can do that with. So I self soothe. Rocking myself, zoning out, doing childish (but creative) things like color or cartoons. The inner child seriously needs an outer adult figure to run to. What do you do with that? How do you find that person?