Lately, I've been eating less and less. Everytime I eat I feel horribly guilty like I'm commiting murder or something. It physically hurts to eat sometimes.

I tried working out in order to lose weight healthfully, but I'm always tired and working out is torture. I have fallen asleep practically while walking, but at night I get no rest at all! I'm 16 and I have bags under my eyes, making me look like some zombie or stoner. Sleeping and eating are just painful and just thinking of either makes me want to cry.

My mother and her mother are also very obsessive about their weight. My mom had anorexia from her childhood until I was born, and she still is constantly dieting. She weighs less than I do! I can't eeven fit into her clothes.

Even when I did start not hating my body for the first time in ever, I was immediately shot down. My step father just loves making fun of everyone, being the racist male offspring of a female dog that he is half the time. Fat people are his favorite. He sees a lady walk across the street, and he "moos" at her. Then he'd turn to me and say "Damn! She's almost as fat as you!" My 15th birthday started with "Morning Tubby. Want more food don't you?" and was continued with a bunch more fat/ugly/stupid jokes for half the day. I still can't bring myself back from that.

I have lost a mere few pounds since 2 weeks ago when this whole thing got serious. I weigh myself everyday, 5 times a day. I don't know if this whole thing is a result of my depression coupled with OCD and anxiety, or if I'm developing an eating/sleeping disorder. It could be depression; I've been in the slums with that lately.

Asking for help is out of the question. My mother will just freak out and get mad, my stepdad will just laugh and throw more jokes at me, and my biological father is too out of it to even answer the phone nowadays. I am in homeschooling and my mom hardly ever lets me leave the neighborhood.

This is something I'm stuck doing alone. If I can deal with all my other crap alone, I can do this to. I fought past suicide, self harm and running away with no help from anyone. I've dealt with my panic attacks, depresssion and Aspergers before even knowing I had them. The problem is I have no clue what to do for this. Hence why I am here. Can anyone give me advice please?