darla, have you considered attending ACOA re your parent's addictions? their probs affect your life too in a negative way. ACOA helps you help yourself while living in their chaotic life. they may not stop using but you can learn ways to cope and refuse to enable them too tho i don't believe u''re enabling them. idk.
as for you, racee said it well. i just hope you are the fortunate one who fixes your addictions and not become a statistic. i feel you want to change. i know you are struggling with this. if you can get help-detox-it will give you a jump start away from your addictions. glad you r considering taking this measure.as for relapse many of us had to pick ourselves up and start over. no need to beat yourself up. you can be successful the more you want to be clean and sober.