At first thought and not knowing your entire story - I would say that you are having unresolved feelings and the only way you knew how to deal with them (in the past) was to go void / empty / nothing as to protect your self and to survive (emotionally or physically)..... hence this is the feeling your body now places with the present when the old unresolved feeling is resonated with in you.
Does that make any sense to you?
LoVe,
Rhapsody -
((((((( HUGS )))))))
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